Isaac Tries and Fails to Frighten Some Creepy Men
by WOWZAcoolBEANS
Summary: Our favorite pair of wanted criminals, Isaac and Miria, didn’t know each other since birth. Here’s just a little insight into how the pair of lovebirds met.


**Title:** Isaac Tries and Fails to Frighten Some Creepy Men

**Synopsis:** Our favorite pair of wanted criminals, Isaac and Miria, didn't know each other since birth. Here's just a little insight into how the pair of lovebirds met.

**Rating: **T

**A/N**: I wanted to write something in a different sort of style than usual. I succeeded! Huzzah! And… There's not much else here to say! Review please. I'll love you forever.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Baccano! because if I did, out of all of the murderers, alchemists, sociopaths and idiots Lua wouldn't be the absolute creepiest.

--

"Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name? Hello, I love you, let me jump in your game. She's walking down the street blind to every eye she meets. Do you think you'll be the guy to make the queen of angels sigh?"

-'Hello, I Love You' by The Doors

--

Once upon a time there was a gal named Miria who was about sixteen years old, give or take a year or two.

Now this girl was pretty happy, but pretty lonely. It wasn't that she lived a bad life or anythin', but she was just sort of alone. All the time. Daddy had work and mommy had the other kids and there wasn't much time left for the little budding flower called Miria.

So that was why she was walkin' alone in New York City.

Walking down the street behind her were a couple of thugs who had had their slimy little eyes set on our poor Miria for a few blocks now, just waiting for her to go to some dark and abandoned place so that they could do what shady guys like to do best with young women.

I ain't talking about playing Monopoly here, kiddos.

So as I was sayin', Miria was walkin' along humming a little song that she had heard earlier that day from some kid in her match class who, for some reason that she didn't know, always sang the best songs to her that always got stuck in her head. Since her parents didn't really have the sort of money to buy lots of records like the other kids, Miria would just ask him to sing her the songs during class.

But she was a-walkin' and a-hummin' and these sleazy guys followed her until she turned into a deserted ally that was a shortcut back to her house.

"Hey girlie," one taunted with a grin of golden teeth. "We're a little bored right now, do you wanna give us something to play with?"

If the man thought that his message was clear to young Miria, then he was wrong. For a moment she stared before pointing at herself. "You mean me?" The way that the pitch of her voice popped up at the end of her question was quite endearing to the two men, who looked at each other with grinning faces.

The one without golden teeth spoke this time. "Yes, missy, we mean you. Howzabout you let us take you out for a little fun." Clumsily, he winked one of his eyes as he licked his lips.

What these fellas didn't know when they first walked up to this missy was just how thick that blonde head of hers really was. Instead of running away screaming like any normal broad would do, a smile grew on Miria's face. "What sort of fun?!" The childish excitement in her voice was almost too much for the two guys. They looked at each other, unsure if the girl was really that dumb or if she was hiding something.

With a nervous edge, the one without gold teeth laughed. "Oh, you'll see when you get there, missy. Now if you just follow-"

"Worry not fair maiden, for your savior is approaching!" From out of the darkness a stranger clad in an even stranger costume of a black cape and mask paired with a large black and red hat ran towards Miria and her two… admirers. "These dastardly fellows will not lay a hand on the fair lady lest the face the vengeance of…"

There was a dramatic pause as the strange made his cape whoosh out flamboyantly. Filled with excitement Miria asked "Who?!" with wide child-like eyes and excitement. She had never met a superhero before, and was more than enthused.

"SHERLOCK HOLMES!"

…

A silence surrounded the group for a moment before the two guys started laughin' their asses off at the imposter. Miria, who was all excited about meeting the famous detective looked at the men with narrowed eyes. "What's so funny?" She asked, her voice hissing with danger as she pulled out the knife that she kept on her at all times and gently ran her tongue along it.

Scared out of their minds, the two men fled.

"Didn't know she'd be such a crazy bitch." The gold toothed one yelled to his companion as a car swerved, trying not to hit them.

The other one laughed nervously as he dodged a little girl on a bicycle. "It's the pretty ones that ya have to look out for, ya know. Them little missies ain't always what they look like on the outside!" Trying to forget the thought of the blonde chick licking her knife so menacingly, they ran as fast as they could back to wherever it was that they came from.

Meanwhile, little Miria was completely in awe as she stared at the sight of Sherlock Holmes in the flesh. "I had no idea that you were in New York, Mister Holmes sir! This is so exciting! What are you doing? Is there some sort of crime that you need to solve or a person that you need to catch or-" Miria's excitement suddenly ran out, and her eyes became narrowed once again. "Wait, Mister Holmes, shouldn't have a British accent?"

Not breaking a sweat, 'Sherlock' smiled happily. "Well you see, dear lady, I'm undercover right now, working on a case!"

Once again the bright smile returned to the not-so-bright Miria. "Really? That's incredible!" It seemed to the man that the girl swung moods quite often, because a moment later she was serious once again. "Don't worry Mister Holmes, I'll take your secret to the grave! So… What should I call you since you're undercover."

Pretending to think, the man put a hand on his chin. "What a difficult question little lady. I think that you should call me…" As he thought his eyes squinted and Miria nearly burst with the anticipation. "Isaac! That's what you should call me from now on, my dear!"

"Isaac, that name is simply incredible!"

And so their story began. 'Sherlock' and Miria continued to meet, and eventually the two idiots fell for each other quite hard. And though calling 'Sherlock' Isaac became natural for Miria, through everything they went through, she smiled, knowing that she was helping the real, live Sherlock Holmes.

What a bubblehead, right? Well, at least the two of them were happy, and they remain so today.

--

_Fin_


End file.
